ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
she smelled like a LAN party
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm like, not good at living.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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