Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
