Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
being pregnant is like rehab
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
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