I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
