doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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