its not stalking. its research.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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