Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize