Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
