went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
