I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize