You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
