i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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