Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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