Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
