omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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