How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do cheetos always look like penises
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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