Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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