I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize