My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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