So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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