i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Sorry about my life...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
