I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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