Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
