why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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