Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize