If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
