I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
It all started with a game of naked twister.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
