I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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