how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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