she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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