I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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