So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
