pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize