fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
