Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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