Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
