If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
