He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
