He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
