I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
