So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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