Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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