I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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