I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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