Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
