I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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