5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
