what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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