She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
