He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
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And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
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We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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