if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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