batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
