Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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