but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
