Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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