i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
