no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
