yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
