I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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