I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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