I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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