kristin has been a bad kristin
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
