bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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