Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
