Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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